So, Philip and I are finally taking our long-awaited trip to Bermuda. It feels like we have been planning and waiting for it for a very long time. It has surpassed all its hype. I have not traveled extensively, but I know one thing for sure, this place is special. It is absolutely the most beautiful place I have ever been. Incredibly green with pops of the pastels and whites that make up the houses here. The sea is a beautiful, rich blue, with turquoise mixed in--all of my favorite colors in one place. I have never wanted to document so much of the landscape of one place before, and I have never been so sure I will come back to a place as I have about this.
I know it is a little weird for me to be writing while I am on vacation(!), but I always find inspiration at the strangest of times, and I find if I don't write my thoughts, I forget what I was going to say. And I wanted to always remember these thoughts. . .
First of all, this place brings me back to portions of my childhood. Those of us who grew up going to the beach on a regular basis know what I mean. There's something intoxicating about the smell of the beach. Not just the "roll-down-your-windows-smell" you get while driving near the beach. It's that you can smell the beach in everything--in the shower, in the wind, in your hair. What a perfect smell.
Second, I have never been so sad to see the end of a vacation, but so happy to see it end at the same time. I have missed Connor immensely, and though I know he is in the best of hands, I can't help counting the minutes until we see him. At the same time, all couples should have the chance to go on trips without kids as often as possible. I hope this does not make me sound like a bad mother, but we (Philip and I) really needed this. I have felt so wound up and crabby lately, and unfortunately, my husband becomes the brunt of my "stressed-outedness". Ugh. It's amazing how a few days away can give you so much perspective. I am SO lucky to be married to Philip. He is sweet, caring, and the best husband and dad a woman could hope for. We were on a ferry back from Hamilton to Southampton last evening, and there was a couple coming over for dinner. Upon conversation, we discovered that they were celebrating their 34th wedding anniversary. The couple next to them mentioned that they were celebrating their 30th (they came to Bermuda on their honeymoon), and when I told them we had just celebrated four years, one woman mentioned that she and her husband had been discussing the fact that they thought we had just gotten married and were celebrating our honeymoon here. I take that as the greatest compliment in the world--that someone would mistake us for honeymooners! I hope we still act like we are honeymooning thirty, forty, fifty years from now. What a great life we will be leading . . .
Third, when I was younger, I never slept late, and needed to go for long walks on the beach to keep the boredom at bay when laying on the beach for long periods of time. Not so anymore--perhaps it is because we have a little one, and the time for relaxing is so scarce. Or maybe it's just that we appreciate any time we get to relax together, but we have slept in late every day, and spent 5 hours on the beach reading only together this afternoon. I have finished one 500-page book already, and am halfway through my second at this writing. I hope I get through a third before I'm done.
Fourth, I have a love-hate relationship with the sun. When I was younger, I definitely loved to lay in the sun, for the chance for a "burn that would turn into a tan". Ugh. Now I prefer sunscreen and shade. Not that I still don't love the sun, but I much prefer an umbrella to shade me from it. I also am surprised that, after having a baby, despite the fact that my body is not as good as it once was, I am more comfortable in a bikini than I've ever been in my life. Something about being proud of what my body has been able to do or something like that.
And lastly, I know I have said it before, but I'll happily say it again--I have the most amazing husband on the planet. I have never felt so comfortable in my own skin as I do when I am with him--I have never laughed so hard, or felt so understood. Philip makes me incredibly happy, but also seems to make my happiness his top priority. I'm not sure what I did to deserve to be so blessed, but I thank God every day for the many gifts he has bestowed, and for making my life as wonderful as it is.
I feel like every time I write, I gush about how happy I am. Don't get me wrong, I have my moments of self-doubt, and frustrations and stress . . . but on the whole, I wonder at the idea that I feel so incredibly content every day. And in Bermuda, I can't imagine anyone who wouldn't feel it too!
October & November
1 year ago